I will save the deconstruction of the western relationship norms as a product of the insecure patriarchy and a tool of oppression for another essay. Suffice it to say western relationship norms are binding, usually heavy with expectations and rules, limiting, and at their base line: unhealthy. A lot of the default rules and restrictions come from the mononormative patriarchal back drop in which we exist, and are in place so the ones in power don't have to do any self work or growth to "keep" their spouse. (The use of mononormative ownership language is an intentional jab)
But we don't have to be bound by those rules. We have braved ego death, we are free intentional beings, we can co-create our connections with partners however we want. We are brilliant motes of star fire encountering each other in a space of possibility.
Agency, growth, respect. These are the foundations of an adult relationship, a true connection. These are only possible if the other person is in a healthy relationship with all the parts of themself first. If the other person is not in touch with their will or higher self they can't form boundaries or ask for needs bc they don't know what they want out of life.
I don't think it is healthy to be in a relationship with a person who is not self-assured, an unintentional being, someone who has not experienced ego death, doesn't live intentionally, or at the minimum isn't self-aware.
Living intentionally is hard work, it takes energy to focus on the Now, to resist the automatic behaviors and limiting thoughts that are socialized or habituated into us.
An intentional person in relationships doesn't worry about the other person leaving or loving someone else. An intentional person is greatful and present for all moments no matter how wonderful or awful; All moments have something to teach us.
This yearly conference is always “free” for all 
of their divine spark, they can not be contained.
NEW POST: 
or Spontaneous Sex 
? The Pros & Cons of Both 
